She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
