She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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