I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize