Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
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I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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