stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
