I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize