I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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