He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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