Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
