just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
