i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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