By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Everyone says I win the strip club
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
