just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize