Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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