Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
