Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
