Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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