What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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