I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
