It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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