There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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