Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize