oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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