Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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