i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
