You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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