I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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