you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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