You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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