Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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