My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
