dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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