last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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