come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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