did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
