you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
