Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
