Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
