I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
