i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
