Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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