Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
