it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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