Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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