and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
