Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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