The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
