i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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