I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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