Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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