i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
