Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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