This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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