i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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