I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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