All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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